About my Dad

Okay, so I've been thinking a lot about my Dad lately... And I've been missing him a heck of a lot too. So I've- I thought maybe if I write about him it will help. For those of you who don't know I lost my Dad when I was seventeen. He passed away from a heart attack. He was a great man who raised great, intelligent kids. Keith Gabbert, my father, passed away on April 10, 2010. I miss him. From time to time small stuff reminds me of him. Like there was this cake Richard showed me today that was shaped like a butt taking a turd (the turds were so obviously just frosting but I digress), and it made me think of Dad because that's something he would have showed me. I just know it.
As an adult at the age of twenty-two I think a lot about my future. I think about school, my writing career, what it will be like to be married, where Richard and I will be living, and what it will be like to have kids (and the rules Richard and I will have for them). When I think about all aspects of my life I keep a positive outlook on it, but I also wonder what my Dad would think about everything I'm doing or working toward. I mean with all the future plans I have be they realistic or not I always tell Richard or Mom. I would love to let Dad know as well.
Like on the school front next week I'm going to fill out my college application for Full Sail University next week. There's a $40 application fee for this school, and when I mentioned it to Mom, she told me I could talk to them about waiving the fee. I didn't even know that. Mom said that helped her, and the worst they could say is no. I sometimes wish I could talk to Dad about school. I would want to hear what he he would think of my school plan. I'm planning on going to Full Sail University to get my bachelors degree in creative writing. I will have one class a month for thirty-two months, so I don't get too stressed out with classwork and homework assignments. Part of getting my BA in creative writing is math a math class, a science class, and a history class. I know some people would like me to go to like a community college first, but this makes more sense to me because I have a goal right in front of me and I don't have to fill out so many college applications to get into colleges that aren't even right for me. I've wanted to go to Full Sail since 2010, so hopefully I can go this September.
With writing there's so much I wish I could talk to Dad about, but before I told him anything about what I'm working on or any of that I would want to thank him. Every time I write I hear his advice. I can tell where I used the advice he gave me to write better. I would want to tell Dad about the bookcons I could be a part of. And about book signing I could be a part of. But for some reason when it comes to that I worry that Dad wouldn't fully support me on that stuff. I don't completely know why. I mean my Dad was always a supportive person, and he always wanted me to follow my dreams. So why doubt that he would be supportive about my writing? And wanting to be a part of a book convention? And wanting to do book signings no matter how scary that sounds to me? What am I talking about? Of course Dad would be supportive as long as I show him writing wasn't the only thing in my life.
Sometimes I think about how it would be to have Dad at my wedding, walking me down the aisle and dancing that traditional daddy/daughter dance at the wedding. I think about how it would be to stand in front of my father in a beautiful wedding dress as he wipes happy tears out of my eyes. I think about how Richard and I would like to live in Tacoma, WA and how he would be close by if we wanted him to visit or wanted him to watch our kids for the night. I know Dad will not be able to meet my future kids, but I also know that my kids will hear tales of him till they can copy them to me, like, verbatim.
So I wasn't going to add this, but I've been watching Blossom lately, the show with Mayim Bialik (she plays Amy Farrah Fowler in Big Bang Theory) and Joey Lawrence (he plays Joey in Melissa and Joey) in it. It's an early nineties series. Anyway, there was an episode tonight... And Blossom and her family were making a video for her mom for her birthday. It was cool of them to show their mother how they were doing. But it made me sad because I wish my Dad had left me videos to watch with him in them. Oh well. I just had to cry for a bit.
I guess the point is I miss Dad and I wish he was here, but I still keep him in my heart and in my brain. Just like he told me since I was a baby. Wow. He wasn't kidding. Well that's all for now.

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