My Inspiration Dossier

I've always thought that I was the one who got down on myself. Didn't think highly of myself. I mean at one of my weakest moments I would think that I didn't deserve family or friends who truly cared about me. Something about the way people treated me as I grew up. I've been in and out of therapy for years. One of my therapists gave me a simple assignment years ago. If you're feeling down on yourself write at least five good things about yourself. If you are struggling about thinking about those good traits of yours you can always ask a family member or friend for help. And doing that assignment till I moved to New York where I had a family who loved me for me, flaws and all really helped.
Anyway, I bring this up because I didn't know until recently that I wasn't the only one who doesn't always see how cool I am. I recently noticed how other people sometimes forget how awesome they are. I actually told a few of my family and friends they were in my Inspiration Dossier, and they were like... "Really?" So I told them or showed them what I thought were great traits of theirs. Before I go too far into that my Inspiration Dossier is full of casts I like, people, villains, and authors I admire. On top of that there's miscellaneous section, top fictional men and women in fiction, alien species (namely from Mass Effect at this time), supernatural creatures (not the most popular ones, and my Historical Archetypes and Mythology class helped a lot with that), and more. It's just a big book of notes that keep me the inspired writer I am today. I'll go more into detail about that later. But when I talked to my friends and family, Shelby, Jessicah, Maxx, Tatiana, and even Mom it seemed to me that they didn't see how cool they were or things I notice about them. It was cool to tell or show them. I mean there is a lot to admire about each of them. Shelby is the most ambitious and determined women I've seen, and I truly mean that. If she wants something she'll  go for it, and nothing will stop her. Jessicah is the sweetest and most loving person, and from what I always see and hear she's one of the most dedicated mothers out there. Maxx is one of the most individual thinkers I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. Tatiana will always tell it like it is and will make sure you hear her. She always has your best interest at heart. And Mom is one of the most patient and loving women I've ever met. And those are just a few of the people I admire and only a few things I admire about them.
When it comes to the Dossier most of it is full of personality traits and accomplishments of fictional characters, people in my life or who have influenced me, and authors I admire.
I have 26 different casts I like including Soul Eater, Mass Effect, Maximum Ride, and many others. There are 29 people I admire including my parents, April, my siblings, and more. I have 6 villains I admire because of what they can and have accomplished. There are 5 authors I admire. I have over 40 pages in the miscellaneous section. There are 3 male characters that have been the best leader/father figures I've ever seen, and 2 strong women. Both of these sections are for characters that have no affiliation to the anything else in here. I have notes and some of my old writing in the binder. There are 15 alien species from Mass Effect that were added recently. And thanks to my HAM (Historical Archetypes and Mythology) class I have 18 supernatural creatures in there as well.

Since I'm on a roll... On Friday night, I went to my sister, Tatiana's place. Richard and I went there for a double-date with Tatiana and her man Oscar. He's pretty cool. I got to talk to him while Richard and Tatiana went shopping for dinner ingredients. We talked about music, he wanted to hear some of my writing, so I read a couple pages of Head Hunters. He said he saw it in his head as I read it. I had a great time cooking in the kitchen with Tatiana. We talked about family, school, life while cooking. I cooked spaghetti sauce that I spent years learning how to make watching April. Even after all those years I could still remember it. It was pretty delicious. Tatiana gave me cooking tips while we talked. We got to see Pixels in 3D which was awesome. We even crashed there.It was nice to hang out with people who were so cool. I haven't felt that comfortable anywhere in a long time. While we were there I found out a lot of cool things like more about Tatiana and how people see me... I know it may not sound extravagant, but it meant a hell of lot to me.

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