Not Everything is so Black and White...
Yesterday my sister, Jessicah, called and let me know Jason (one of our brothers) went into surgery for a ripped esophagus. He is stable now and will be on a feeding tube for seven to ten days. The doctors think he'll be alright. Now I have not talked to Jason in years, but I was concerned and worried. I didn't know how to react for about the first hour after hearing the news. All I knew is I want Jason to be okay. Please make sure everything turns out alright for him and his family. That's all I've been thinking through the night. And that's continuing through my thoughts now as well. His mother (my stepmother) April has breast cancer, and has almost beat it from the updates I've read on her GoFundMe page. The last time I talked to April and Jason was in 2011. And as much as I am wishing them well I have no desire to call them for I have nothing of value to say. When I get worried about that side of my family I "pray" to my father to watch over them. This puts my mind at peace. He's Jason's father too, so I know he's already there looking out for and watching over him.
While I was all conflicted and didn't know what to do I talked to a friend, and she said I should visit them... Again I have nothing of value to say, so that's a no go. I care deeply for them because they were a huge part of my life growing up. I thought Jason was the coolest and always wanted to hang with him. April raised me so well. Much better and with a bigger heart than Jane (my biological mother). Because they had such a big impact on me I will always carry them in my heart and wish them the best. But I've discovered that for me it's best to do this from a distance. If I find I have something to say, I'll let them know.
If you would like to help out the family, you can go to Gabbert Family Survival Fund.
Speaking of things being not so black and white... Jane got me a birthday present this year that surprisingly did not consist of some cheesy gift card that consists of zero thought. She did not write some generic crap in the card. Instead of "I hope you're doing well" she congratulated me on my second book. I wrote her a thank you note... Yes, I could call her or text... But I don't want to. I still see her as less than an acquaintance. "But she's your mother..." Some of you may be saying. Where it is true she gave birth to me I have not seen her as my mother since I was thirteen or slightly younger. Since I was thirteen/fourteen April was my mom. She raised me no matter how tough it got whereas Jane gave up when it got a little hard. And I have a Mom now as well. She's Richard's mom, and she's one of my heroes. Some people don't get where I'm coming from... But you have to understand I have no memories of Jane being a mom because when she was a mom to me I was younger... I'm too old to reach those memories. What I can remember was that when I needed a mom and was too stubborn to see it Jane gave up. But April would butt my head right back. She would know how to get through to me. I know several people have wonderful relationships their mothers, and I'm happy for you all. But I don't have that with the woman that birthed me. And I doubt I will.
A mom to me is someone who will butt heads with you when you're simply being a stubborn child. They will be there through your good and bad days... They will love you through it all. They support you and your dreams. They make sure you do well in school. When you're backed into a corner they will be there to protect/stand with you. They teach you work ethic... They teach you everything you need to know...
So that being said April was my mom growing up. Jane was not. And Mom (Richard's mom) is my mom now. If the world was perfect... People would realize some parts of my life aren't as black and white as the norm. I'm perfectly happy with the life I have now. Nothing will change that.
Anyway, now that I've gotten through what I had to say... I found something I would like to share with you all.
While I was all conflicted and didn't know what to do I talked to a friend, and she said I should visit them... Again I have nothing of value to say, so that's a no go. I care deeply for them because they were a huge part of my life growing up. I thought Jason was the coolest and always wanted to hang with him. April raised me so well. Much better and with a bigger heart than Jane (my biological mother). Because they had such a big impact on me I will always carry them in my heart and wish them the best. But I've discovered that for me it's best to do this from a distance. If I find I have something to say, I'll let them know.
If you would like to help out the family, you can go to Gabbert Family Survival Fund.
Speaking of things being not so black and white... Jane got me a birthday present this year that surprisingly did not consist of some cheesy gift card that consists of zero thought. She did not write some generic crap in the card. Instead of "I hope you're doing well" she congratulated me on my second book. I wrote her a thank you note... Yes, I could call her or text... But I don't want to. I still see her as less than an acquaintance. "But she's your mother..." Some of you may be saying. Where it is true she gave birth to me I have not seen her as my mother since I was thirteen or slightly younger. Since I was thirteen/fourteen April was my mom. She raised me no matter how tough it got whereas Jane gave up when it got a little hard. And I have a Mom now as well. She's Richard's mom, and she's one of my heroes. Some people don't get where I'm coming from... But you have to understand I have no memories of Jane being a mom because when she was a mom to me I was younger... I'm too old to reach those memories. What I can remember was that when I needed a mom and was too stubborn to see it Jane gave up. But April would butt my head right back. She would know how to get through to me. I know several people have wonderful relationships their mothers, and I'm happy for you all. But I don't have that with the woman that birthed me. And I doubt I will.
A mom to me is someone who will butt heads with you when you're simply being a stubborn child. They will be there through your good and bad days... They will love you through it all. They support you and your dreams. They make sure you do well in school. When you're backed into a corner they will be there to protect/stand with you. They teach you work ethic... They teach you everything you need to know...
So that being said April was my mom growing up. Jane was not. And Mom (Richard's mom) is my mom now. If the world was perfect... People would realize some parts of my life aren't as black and white as the norm. I'm perfectly happy with the life I have now. Nothing will change that.
Anyway, now that I've gotten through what I had to say... I found something I would like to share with you all.
Here are the top five things that appear when you google my name.
- My website
- My Drag Me to Hell page on Facebook
- Besides that picture of the person between the books those are pictures of my books
- Then there's my Google+ page
- And finally my personal Facebook page
Also I got some reviews on Head Hunters. ^-^
- Boomer: "Well my fav character would be mitzi shes so protective and my fav part is when aiden's father was toss across the hallway cuz he was throwing things around the house"
- Mama Chico: "I like that every time I see your dad's name [in the book] I have a picture of him."
- Shelby: "Hey girl! I'm on chapter 40 and I like it so far!! I can't pick a favorite part until I'm finished with it!! I'm weird! Lol"
My best friend and inspiration for Mitzi.
My dad and inspiration to Keith Shudo.
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