Remembering Who Loves You

This is a repost of mine from another blog. I was given this prompt by a writer friend of mine, Tiffany when she was worried about me when I was writing about a more sensitive subject. She wanted to help keep my emotions balanced. I'm also challenging myself to put me in my own writing. Sorry for the lateness it took me about a month and a half to write this.

Prompt: A ghost appears before you one night and tells you to expect a visitation by three spirits who will each transport you to significant moments from the past, present, and future. However, you soon discover that the three spirits aren't quite like the ones who visited Ebeneezer Scrooge...

Here I was watching Coco again. It's one of my favorite movies. As the song 'Remember Me' plays and Hector explains why he wrote the song I teared up. As always.

"I love this scene," a familiar male voice sniffled. "It reminds me of when we wrote 'Let Me Be Me'."

I turned my head so fast that my neck cracked. There stood my dad, a little more transparent than I remembered. I could see the blue, butterfly headdress wall decor through him. He was wearing his favorite grey, sleeveless 'Hard Rock Cafe' shirt and light cargo shorts.

My mouth went dry and I had to swallow hard before chocking out, "Dad, i-is that really you?"

"Who else would it be?" he joked cracking a familiar smile. It practically lit up the room.

I couldn't gather my thoughts. I moved my mouth soundlessly. I tried to blink past new tears. Then I turned my body to get off the bed. I think Dad sensed what I was going to do because he walked over to me and put his arms around me. It wasn't like a physical hug because I couldn't feel the weight behind it, but it was just as warm as a regular hug. I pressed my chin against his shoulder. I sat there crying both happy and sad tears. I squeezed my fingers around his shirt.

"I'm sorry," I croaked out.

"I don't know why you're apologizing," he replied as squeezed me just as hard.

"I'm getting all e-emotional."

"So am I Kaylyn. It's okay to get emotional, especially now. But sadly I don't have a lot of time."

"You have to go already?"

"Not yet but soon. I have a very busy night."

"Okay. B-bye."

"I'm not leaving just yet. I have a message for you."

We let go, and he sat in my wheelchair.

"I know you've been more depressed lately, so I want to give you a gift."

My eyes watered. "What?"

"You'll be visited by three ghosts to show you how many people love you."

"I-I-"

"Please don't say you're sorry, or you'll lose won't win your second or third apology challenge that you have been challenged to by someone new this time."

I blushed. "How do you know that?"

"You know I hang out here sometimes. You acknowledge it even."

"I didn't know..."

"You were also right about the headdress on the wall. I did make sure you got your very own."

"Thank you."

"I know you love blue."

"It meant a lot to get one. So ghosts? Are they people I knew in life?"

"It's more like like your guardian angel taking forms you are familiar with."

"Aren't you my guardian angel?"

"No. You've had a female guardian angel your whole life. She'll bring you to some very meaningful moments in your past, present, and future."

"When?"

"Over the next few nights."

I nodded.

"Before I leave want to watch that scene one more time with me?"

I teared up again. "Yes. Definitely."

I was over the moon all day. Being able to see, hug, hear from, and hang out with my dad, even briefly, was entirely awesome. I told my husband everything, and he had his own visit from his grandfather. So we hung out talking about his visit then about mine then we just hung out watching movies. While we hung out I worked on one of my writing prompts from work. Then I heard something in our room. which was weird because we were the only ones in the house. I wasn't worried because there was no way anyone could have snuck in. I switched to my chair and rolled into my room. It was Brandi, my childhood best friend, as I saw her in a photo on my wall. She had caramel skin with shoulder length brown hair. She was standing by my desk.

"Nice to know you're still writing," she said smiling at me.

I smiled back.

"Ready to go?"

I nodded numbly. Truth be told I scared of what part of my past she was going to bring me to. I had spent a lot of my time trying to face and get over a lot of pieces of my past. As she took my hand I tried to remember Dad's exact words, "You'll be visited by three ghosts to show you how many people love you."

"Please don't worry. I'm not taking you somewhere you feel unsafe."

I frowned. "Are all guardian angels mind readers?"

She smirked. "It may seem like that but no. We spend so much time with our assignments that we know just about everything about them: their facial expressions, their gestures, and what they mean. We're here."

I stood there taking everything in. I vaguely remembered where I was standing. We were in a cemetery, and there was a round table with fish statues around it. My eyes widened. I knew this place then the scent of the place sucker-punched me. Fresh cut grass after a recent fallen rain. And with that my ears perked up. A familiar sound. The genuine laughter of my dad and me. Then I focused on the "fish of the round table" because I knew the young me would be taking pictures with Dad. Tears welled in my eyes.

"Do you remember this day?"

"Not in perfect detail, but I know it was one of my favorite days with Dad."

"Why's that?"

"Because it was one of the times where it was a daddy/daughter day with no distractions, and he took me somewhere meaningful to him."

"It was one of your dad's favorite days with you too. But for him it was a bit bittersweet."

"Why?" I asked glancing at her.

"Because he had so much to say to you that day, but he couldn't bring himself to say it."

"I'd ask, but I'd understand if it's not my place to know." I turned to look at Dad and young me. "He wanted to apologize because he thought he was letting you down."

I smiled. "He never let me down, so he had nothing to worry about."

"You've never been mad at him for anything?"

"In the moment I'd get annoyed or mad, but it would never last. I knew Dad was doing the best he could. I just wish I could have been as understanding with my mom. Want to hear something cool?"

"What's that?"

"My mom recently told me Dad took her here when they were younger."

"Where is here exactly?"

"It's the cemetery where Jimi Hendrix, Dad's favorite musician, is buried. Then after this he'll take us to the library on the river. It literally sits on the bridge. When Mom and Dad went there the river was flooded."

"That- was that safe for them?"

"Yeah. Just where Dad stood on the bridge Mom felt safer in the car."

She smiled. I could hear it in her voice. "So even though we're staying here I have other things to tell you. I know things when you moved back to Colorado Springs, but you still had and have people who love you all over."

I smiled as I thought of my friends from high school, Colorado, and online. "I know."

"And even though we all know that your dad took meeting Mike differently because he was so furious he did know that you have a good friend in him among so many others."

I side-eyed Brandi.

"Who-" She pursed her lips together and looked up to the sky like she was thinking of how to word it. "How did you two get back in touch?"

"I reached after him after some years because I was thinking about him a lot."

"And how was your first conversation with him after all that time?"

"It was like no time had passed at all. Like we were back in the old days."

"You think that was an accident?"

"No," I sighed. "Usually when the feeling of reaching out to someone sticks I feel like it's Dad giving me a not-so-subtle push."

"Yeah. That's how he does it. It almost time for you to go home."

"Damn."

"Wait. Before we go tell me what happened when you came back to Washington for a vacation?"

I smiled and turned my attention back to watching Dad and young me. "My "blood" family found out I was visiting and ripped me a new one. Matt calmed me down a LOT and was always there for me. Mike tried to help me deal with missing Dad using his own experiences. My friends had my back the whole time. And I had a great time."

"And who brought you to and from the airport?"

"Two great friends."

I woke up in Richard's arms crying. He was hugging me tight and rubbing my back gently.

"How was your visit?" he whispered.

"It w-was good."

"Where'd you go and who visited?"

I told him all about it through happy tears.

After that I want to work on my blogs and went to my remote job as a game writer. As I logged out of work there was a light knock at the door. That was unusual since Richard would just open the door slowly when I was working.

"Come in...?"

The door opened to reveal one of my younger brother, Ethan. He was a lot taller and older than last night I saw him in person. He was almost six feet tall. I gawked.

"Wow sis, I didn't expect you to react like that."

I slowly closed my mouth. "What are you doing here? Is it really you or-?"

"It's still me, your guardian angel. I thought this form would be okay. I'm also taking on the form he has presently so we can visit the present."

"Okay. Can you give me a second before we go?"

"Sure."

The last time I had seen E in person he was ten, and now he was eighteen. He was tall and lanky, and even though I knew better it looked like he hasn't eaten in months. His hair was short like I was used to , and he had a small smile. Though it wasn't seen as much anymore on camera his eyes seemed to be smiling as well. That was something I personally loved in people.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," I replied with a small sigh.

"Well that's obviously a lie. What's wrong?" he asked as he walked around me and sat on the end of my bed.

I pursed my lips trying to figure out how to word what I wanted to say. I didn't want to talk about it, but if I didn't say anything he would have to pull it out of me and that would be worse. I turned my chair toward him.

"I feel like I let my brother down for not being able to see or visit him. I know that I'm not, but this is just how I feel sometimes, and I know E doesn't blame me because he understands. He's made it clear on several occasions but seeing him like this does give me a pang of guilt."

"Do you still want to go with me in this form?"

"Yes."

He took my hand and took me to a familiar place. It took me a few seconds to realize we were at the Central Library in Brooklyn.

"Why are we here?" I asked.

"We're here to show you here who loves you now. You still have some people we already discussed who still love you like your dad, Mike, and Matt. You also have Jess and our mom back in your life. Now where are we?"

"We're at the Central Library where Richard and I went to our first dance."

"Well look around now."

I did. There was definitely an autumn theme. There were booths, kids running around, and a woman looked slightly familiar women selling homemade masks. There were also food, sugar skulls, and a make-up table.

"Is this the Day of the Dead library celebration?"

"Yep."

"But that's months away. What happened to the present?"

He shrugged. "I like to bend the rules. This will happen this year. You came with your family."

"What?"

"Feel free to look around for people you know."

I wheeled around when I heard, [Panda], Look at this!"

I spun around to see Nana, my niece, excitedly sped through me to get to the me at the event.

"I colored this one for you."

I saw Eric, one of my brothers, following her. Then I thought I saw Mom in a stunning red dress with her hair in an up-do. She had her face painted beautifully.

"Whose all here?" I asked E.

"You and Richard invited his mom who made it a family thing. His brothers and Nana are here."

"What about Dad?"

"He's visiting Aileen. You all took an Access-a-Ride."

"I've always wanted to learn more about this."

"Since your dad passed?"

"Longer. Since I was a kid. It seemed like a great way to honor those who have passed away. When I saw this event last year I definitely wanted to check it out but it wasn't in the cards."

"Richard did too."

We watched the event where a photographer went around taking pictures of the event. One of them asked Nana if he could take her picture. Her face lit up as she looked at Mom who nodded. She beamed at the camera. The photographer gave Mom a business card then he walked away.

While the guys went to get food Mom took Nana and to the hair and make-up tables. As Nana got her hair done Mom helped me pick out make-up colors.

When Richard got food he came back, sat down, and smiled at me as I was getting my make-up done. Then Nana and I switched spots.

"I'm glad you found such a good in-laws."

I looked at Ethan. "I love them so much."

"I can tell based on how you always talk about them." After a pause he said, "It's almost time to go."

When Nana and I had our hair and make-up done she asked, "Wela, can you send a picture to Mommy?"

The me at the event asked, "Richard, can we get a picture of all of us?"

"Those picture of all of you will hang on your wall."

I woke up covered in sweat to the smell of pancakes and bacon. Richard walked over with a plate in his hand.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm mentally and physically exhausted," I sighed sitting up.

"Who visited you last night? Where'd you go?"

I told him all about it all about it. That day I had yet another movie marathon. It was about midnight when I heard a familiar metallic clank with heavy footsteps. I sat up straighter and looked in the corner at my forearm crutches. It sounded like someone walking with those kind of crutches toward the room. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and got in the bed to investigate.

Then I heard Richard's voice, Nana, i-is that you? You-you're walking...?"

"I'm not, but in the future I will." "I raced to the door and swung it open harder than I expected to. Then I gawked at Nana. She had certainly shot up and hit puberty.

I raced to the door and swung it open harder than I expected to. Then I gawked at Nana. She had certainly shot up and hit puberty.

"Hi Kaylyn and Richard. I'm merely taking on Nana's form for this last visit."

I smiled. She was almost as tall as me. Her brown, wavy hair was to her waist. She was wearing worn blue jeans and a hot pink tank top. She was sporting fuchsia crutches like I had in high school.

"How old is she in this moment?" I asked.

"Will Nana actually walk with the crutches like this?"

Nana with her signature small smile. "With hard work she'll be walking with crutches, and this form is fourteen. I thought you both would like to see this." She turned to me. "You should get your crutches for this trip."

Richard went and got my crutches for me. I stood and took them, and my back screamed in pain.

"It was nice meeting you Richard. Speaking as a guardian angel, thank you." Nana smiled at him then turned to me. "Are you ready to go?"

I grunted in pain.

"What's wrong?" she asked with worry in her eyes and voice.

"I have severe back pain."

"You won't where we're going, I promise."

I smiled at her. "Sounds good."

Nana took me to a place I wasn't familiar with. The place smelled beautiful like rain had fallen. We were in front of a ranch house I had never seen before.

Then I saw Richard and me walking up the path to the front door. I had my crutches, but it looked like I was barely needed them. We were older and had lost a little weight. I looked very nervous. Richard looked like he was keeping on a good front for me. I was adjusting my clothes and hair. and I was trying very hard to not scratch my calloused thumb.

"Look at the window," Nana whispered.

I peered at the front window and saw a blond girl peeking at us. She broke into a huge grin. She turned jumping up.

"Mom! They're here! They're here!"

I could hear people shuffling around then the front door was ripped open with enthusiasm. It was Twin and [E.....] in person. Well sort of. [E.....] it was older like about nine. She had short curly hair like her mother. [E.....] grabbed older me in a hug first.

"Auntie Twin! I don't know whose more excited to finally see you in person."

Then [E.....] moved to hug Richard and Twin crushed me in a bear hug. I crushed her back.

"How long have you been friends with her?"

"Since 2010," I replied grinning.

"And you guys have been friends ever since?"

"Yep!"

"Her daughter, [E.....] is my friend in that book of yours?"

"Yeah. That story has been going well."

"It's a book now."

"What?"

"Yep," she replied beaming at me. "But back to why we're here... What's your friendship with... Twin ...like?"

"You don't like that you don't know her name, do you?"

"I know her name... I'm catering to what you like. How did that nickname come up?"

"It was just instant."

"That's really cool."

"Yeah for like the first month or month and a half I had to ask for her birth given name. I laughed lightly. After a moment I stated, "But I know she loves me..."

"Yeah but you seem to think it's more one-sided so we're here to remind you that that's not true. Look at her."

I looked at my best friend. She was smiling from ear-to-ear and her eyes were smiling too. Then I saw her future me pull out one of those giant, rainbow lollipops from my purse.

Nana looked at me inquisitively. I smiled and pointed to the exchange.

Future me said, "I didn't forget about our bet."

Twin laughed lightly. "That was back in 2010."

"If you don't want it I'll happily take it."

[E.....] piped up, "What bet?"

As they went inside both Twin and I explained the silly bet we had back in the day. I also noticed her walking gate had got so much better. I smiled to myself.

We followed them in and watched them catch up on everything. As it turned out Twin and her family really did live in Oregon like she wanted. Richard and I did end up living in Washington [state] as we planned.

"You and I video chat by the way."

"What?"

"Just because you guys moved doesn't mean we don't visit or see each other."

I smiled.

"We have to go soon."

"Okay."

"How's your back feeling?"

"I haven't noticed the pain."

"Well you know if we keep up our exercises we'll get there."

I woke up crying again.

"How was it, baby?"

"It was absolutely amazing. Let me write about this before I tell you everything."