Secret Dream
There's a secret people don't know about me, including most of the people closest to me. I want to be a journalist for a magazine. Not instead of being an author. I want to be able to do both, in all honesty. When I was in high school I actually tried creating my own magazine even though it only had like four or five articles in it. It was more of a personal project for me than anything. I did show one of my articles to the school's principal. He seemed to like it enough even if he didn't want to believe my article was true. It's not that my article was bad; it's just at the end of the day people believe what they want to believe, and you can't change their opinions.
When I try write articles I try to present all the facts and present both sides of the story regardless of my feelings about the story. I have like seven copies of the same article. I think it's funny because when I was actually in a journalism class when I was thirteen I couldn't care less about journalism. I even failed the class and got sent to photography instead. But now that I'm older I've grown to like some journalism. I really only like good news stories or important articles. I like knowing the important stuff not stuff like Justin Bieber got away with this felony or the Kardashians... Who cares? I mean I know that some people like reading that, but that's not exactly my cup of tea. I'm more interested in what can get me the best job possible, what strong women are doing in the community/world to make the world a better place. Like I have a subscription to Writers' Digest to help my writing along, and I really like Glamour. It's an amazing magazine. So because I love that magazine so much I sent them a message asking them about how I would go about being a journalist for them, that I published one book, and that I have a personal blog. I hope I can hear from them soon. Richard and Mom are happy for me and seem proud of me which always makes me feel great. I think it's funny because when I told Mom that I failed journalism and got kicked out she's like, "How the hell did you do that?!" I was straight with her though. I was being a tough little shit at that age, and I was trying to make Jane's life unbearable then because she uprooted my life for like nothing important. But that's neither here nor there. I just wanted to explain how Mom reacted to my failing.
The only problem with it is that it's things like this that make me miss my dad. I never told my dad I was interested in journalism. I never showed him those articles I wrote in school. If I had told him he would have helped me find out what it took to get into that kind of work. It's not like I keep thinking of what ifs. It's just every once in a while I just really miss my father and wish he was here. I know he's here in spirit, and I also know that I have a wonderful family that supports and loves me which I'm totally grateful for. That doesn't take away from missing him though. Speaking of my father I'm getting a tattoo for him for my birthday or next month depending on the cost (which I'll find out this weekend hopefully). It's going to be a 'In Loving Memory' tattoo with a feather under it with his name under the feather on my right bicep. That's only the first part. As time goes on I have three other names and feathers to add to the tattoo. Mom and Richard agree that it's smart just to have Dad's part done first then add the others as time progresses. I think that's best for now. I told Jessicah, and she seemed to like it. I also told Tim, and at first he seemed hesitant, but once he knew what kind of tattoo he accepted it. And in a few years I'm going to get a dream catcher tattoo on my left bicep in memory of my father's dream catcher tattoo. ^-^ Anyway, sorry I got fixated on that... I just needed to add it to clear my heart.
When I try write articles I try to present all the facts and present both sides of the story regardless of my feelings about the story. I have like seven copies of the same article. I think it's funny because when I was actually in a journalism class when I was thirteen I couldn't care less about journalism. I even failed the class and got sent to photography instead. But now that I'm older I've grown to like some journalism. I really only like good news stories or important articles. I like knowing the important stuff not stuff like Justin Bieber got away with this felony or the Kardashians... Who cares? I mean I know that some people like reading that, but that's not exactly my cup of tea. I'm more interested in what can get me the best job possible, what strong women are doing in the community/world to make the world a better place. Like I have a subscription to Writers' Digest to help my writing along, and I really like Glamour. It's an amazing magazine. So because I love that magazine so much I sent them a message asking them about how I would go about being a journalist for them, that I published one book, and that I have a personal blog. I hope I can hear from them soon. Richard and Mom are happy for me and seem proud of me which always makes me feel great. I think it's funny because when I told Mom that I failed journalism and got kicked out she's like, "How the hell did you do that?!" I was straight with her though. I was being a tough little shit at that age, and I was trying to make Jane's life unbearable then because she uprooted my life for like nothing important. But that's neither here nor there. I just wanted to explain how Mom reacted to my failing.
The only problem with it is that it's things like this that make me miss my dad. I never told my dad I was interested in journalism. I never showed him those articles I wrote in school. If I had told him he would have helped me find out what it took to get into that kind of work. It's not like I keep thinking of what ifs. It's just every once in a while I just really miss my father and wish he was here. I know he's here in spirit, and I also know that I have a wonderful family that supports and loves me which I'm totally grateful for. That doesn't take away from missing him though. Speaking of my father I'm getting a tattoo for him for my birthday or next month depending on the cost (which I'll find out this weekend hopefully). It's going to be a 'In Loving Memory' tattoo with a feather under it with his name under the feather on my right bicep. That's only the first part. As time goes on I have three other names and feathers to add to the tattoo. Mom and Richard agree that it's smart just to have Dad's part done first then add the others as time progresses. I think that's best for now. I told Jessicah, and she seemed to like it. I also told Tim, and at first he seemed hesitant, but once he knew what kind of tattoo he accepted it. And in a few years I'm going to get a dream catcher tattoo on my left bicep in memory of my father's dream catcher tattoo. ^-^ Anyway, sorry I got fixated on that... I just needed to add it to clear my heart.
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