Secrets are Out

It's no secret to people around me that I've had a very stressed and emotionally raw. I freaked out in a therapy session about something that I didn't think bugged me anymore. My usually hour long session with my therapist was stretched to an hour and a half. My emotions have been running on overdrive. While talking to my therapist she got me to texted Jess and Uncy Jeff during the session. We caught up. I was glad because every time I want to text them I freeze. Lately when I want to talk to people I've been freezing a lot... But my therapist asked me what was there to fear. I listed the reasons, but they were all complete bs. I'm glad I started opening up more.
After therapy all I wanted to call my mom, Jane. I didn't know if I would be able to tell her all my secrets like my therapist suggested, but I knew all I wanted to do was hear her voice. I knew she knew something was up because of the way I texted. When I just want to talk and am happy I'll send a heart it smiling emoji, but if something's serious I drop the emojis all together. So yesterday we talked and everything came out... Secrets I never thought I could share with her. We talked for an hour and then after a couple meetings we talked so more. When I got off the phone last night I felt a million times lighter. I started happy crying. We got to talk more today too. It's awesome.
My mom and I talked about scary pasts, conflicting and confusing memories, my dad, my grandpa. After I told her my scars she was still there, and she still loved me. It was crazy. It feels amazing. I'm glad that I have a better relationship with my mom.
Not only did I talk to my family a lot more, but this week has produced a lot of writing. I'm very happy with how things are going. :)


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