Kaylyn's Secret...
So I have a lot to say and a lot to get off my chest. Ready to hear something really weird and personal about me? I was going to ask my fiance about if I should post this, but I realized it is my choice. And only my choice. So... Here's the secret... I write to my characters sometimes when I need to get stuff off my chest. Since I don't have a lot of friends it helps sometimes. It may sound weird, but my characters are individuals. And better than some people I know. Anyway, I write to two characters from my Hell trilogy; Pandora and Bailey, and I write to nine Head Hunters characters; Angel, Cassandra, Hayden, Celeste, Cayden, Daniya, Aria, Taralyn, and Cassadee. Sometimes I wish I had more real people to talk to, but this works for me. I've been writing to them a lot lately.
Recently, I wrote to Cassadee, a mom from Head Hunters. She's a psychologist and a caring, loving mother. When I wrote to her I wrote seventeen pages. I was- am lonely. I don't have a lot of friends, and I was blaming myself. I thought I was at fault for my anti-social tendencies. It took a seventeen page letter and a talk with a therapist, and I still felt like total shit. I exploded at Richard and felt like a volcano erupting. I had started my letter at five-forty in the morning because that's all I could do to fall asleep again. I wanted to get out the original idea... Later when I woke up around nine-thirty I ended up writing three pages about my dreams. I also wrote about my brother's post about the nine secret signs of loneliness. I suffer some of them myself. I wrote four pages reminding myself about how great a person I am. I wrote more but that's private.
It's not like I expect Cassadee or anyone else to answer me. It just makes me feel better to believe someone's listening to me.
I may sound crazy and if I do I'm sorry. But I needed to post this. I felt I had to post it to free my thoughts.
Recently, I wrote to Cassadee, a mom from Head Hunters. She's a psychologist and a caring, loving mother. When I wrote to her I wrote seventeen pages. I was- am lonely. I don't have a lot of friends, and I was blaming myself. I thought I was at fault for my anti-social tendencies. It took a seventeen page letter and a talk with a therapist, and I still felt like total shit. I exploded at Richard and felt like a volcano erupting. I had started my letter at five-forty in the morning because that's all I could do to fall asleep again. I wanted to get out the original idea... Later when I woke up around nine-thirty I ended up writing three pages about my dreams. I also wrote about my brother's post about the nine secret signs of loneliness. I suffer some of them myself. I wrote four pages reminding myself about how great a person I am. I wrote more but that's private.
It's not like I expect Cassadee or anyone else to answer me. It just makes me feel better to believe someone's listening to me.
I may sound crazy and if I do I'm sorry. But I needed to post this. I felt I had to post it to free my thoughts.
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