First OVAI Test: Pitch
I finally got graded on my first OVAI test, and I got a B+. You guys wouldn't care about the first three questions.
4. Write an ORIGINAL summary of your project in 150-250 words. My answer (189 words):
"Head Hunters is about a world where humans aren't the main top species; there are also music nymphs, angels, were-creatures, and witches. You know humans though if they see something that they can't understand they either want to kill it or study it. You start following a young music nymph at Veldime Point, a boarding school for the supernatural, whose powers are dormant. When this young music nymph, Angel's powers kick in they kick in with hard. As she goes to tell her friends how powerful she is she's stopped by a young woman who tells her about these poachers called Head Hunters. Head Hunters poach supernatural beings for their pelt, wings, or blood. With this news Angel and her friends’ lives are turned upside-down when they come face-to-face with the Head Hunters and need to get the Head Hunters to back off their territory. After all, how would you feel if just because you and your family are different your life is constantly on the line? Would you take a stand to live a life without the constant fear of being killed because you're just a little different?"
Teacher's response to it: "Watch your grammar, e.g.; "Angel's powers kick in they kick in with hard." should be "Angel's, powers kick in the kick in hard."
"My idea was inspired by a book series called Maximum Ride, the X-Men franchise, and the commercials and ads against poaching animals. When it comes down to it I've always wanted to create a world like the worlds in Maximum Ride and X-Men where people are persecuted or chased down because they are a tiny bit different than humans; just a little more powerful. Also I wanted to bring up what would happen if the animals poachers chase and kill for pelts or horns or whatever had a voice to tell people to back off."
8. Describe one main character in 3-5 sentences (ie. protagonist, antagonist, mentor) my response:
"Angel Shudo is the young woman the story follows who is a little slower than the rest of the students at her school since her powers started out dormant. When her powers kicked in she was one of the first of the children who thought it was unfair that the kids have to hide from the poachers because she understands that there is no real hiding from monsters like those. Angel is very friendly, loyal, and courageous and that's what makes her a great protagonist."
Teacher's response to it: "Would like a little more info, does she know what she is and just has no powers yet or is she kept in the dark about this magic world?"
9. Describe a second main character in 3-5 sentences (ie. protagonist, antagonist, mentor) My response:
"Cassandra Atwater would have to be the herald. Before the story starts Cassandra was home-schooled, but once the story starts Cassandra seeks to warn Angel of the dangers of being on the endangered species list of the supernatural world. I think people will be surprised to see her as the herald since when you meet her she's so quiet, shy, and cautious."
Teacher's response to it: "good use of archetype, could use a little more info on her though. like how she meets angel/why she searches her out."
10. Describe the conflict or motivator within your story in 3-5 sentences My response:
"The conflict in Head Hunters is the supernatural beings trying to protect themselves from the poachers. All the parents want for their kids and family is to grow up without getting killed for superficial reasons, and all the students at Veldime Point want is to grow up like all human kids do. There's a very little conflict between the students and their parents when the kids want to stand up for themselves against this evil; the kids want to prove themselves to the adults as well prove their strengths to themselves."
My teacher's response to it: "this is a solid main conflict but don't forget to build out other conflicts within the story. Think about your A,B, and C stories. Easiest description is TV; A is your main line, B is like a Season Arc, and C is your "monster of the week"/episode."
If I didn't write down an answer then it wasn't worth mentioning. I wanted to share all this information about the book. Would you guys like the answers my teacher was looking for? Well, I write it down just in case.
8. Angel just didn't have powers unless she thought she was in danger.
9. Cassandra met up with Angel because her mother is friends with Angel's dad, and Taralyn (Cassandra's mom) wanted someone to make sure Angel was safe when Keith (Angel's father) hadn't heard from Angel. (This was mentioned in the book.)
4. Write an ORIGINAL summary of your project in 150-250 words. My answer (189 words):
"Head Hunters is about a world where humans aren't the main top species; there are also music nymphs, angels, were-creatures, and witches. You know humans though if they see something that they can't understand they either want to kill it or study it. You start following a young music nymph at Veldime Point, a boarding school for the supernatural, whose powers are dormant. When this young music nymph, Angel's powers kick in they kick in with hard. As she goes to tell her friends how powerful she is she's stopped by a young woman who tells her about these poachers called Head Hunters. Head Hunters poach supernatural beings for their pelt, wings, or blood. With this news Angel and her friends’ lives are turned upside-down when they come face-to-face with the Head Hunters and need to get the Head Hunters to back off their territory. After all, how would you feel if just because you and your family are different your life is constantly on the line? Would you take a stand to live a life without the constant fear of being killed because you're just a little different?"
Teacher's response to it: "Watch your grammar, e.g.; "Angel's powers kick in they kick in with hard." should be "Angel's, powers kick in the kick in hard."
Great concept, teases at a lot of stories that have been popular recently. Look forward to hearing more."
7. What inspired your ORIGINAL project idea? My answer: "My idea was inspired by a book series called Maximum Ride, the X-Men franchise, and the commercials and ads against poaching animals. When it comes down to it I've always wanted to create a world like the worlds in Maximum Ride and X-Men where people are persecuted or chased down because they are a tiny bit different than humans; just a little more powerful. Also I wanted to bring up what would happen if the animals poachers chase and kill for pelts or horns or whatever had a voice to tell people to back off."
8. Describe one main character in 3-5 sentences (ie. protagonist, antagonist, mentor) my response:
"Angel Shudo is the young woman the story follows who is a little slower than the rest of the students at her school since her powers started out dormant. When her powers kicked in she was one of the first of the children who thought it was unfair that the kids have to hide from the poachers because she understands that there is no real hiding from monsters like those. Angel is very friendly, loyal, and courageous and that's what makes her a great protagonist."
Teacher's response to it: "Would like a little more info, does she know what she is and just has no powers yet or is she kept in the dark about this magic world?"
9. Describe a second main character in 3-5 sentences (ie. protagonist, antagonist, mentor) My response:
"Cassandra Atwater would have to be the herald. Before the story starts Cassandra was home-schooled, but once the story starts Cassandra seeks to warn Angel of the dangers of being on the endangered species list of the supernatural world. I think people will be surprised to see her as the herald since when you meet her she's so quiet, shy, and cautious."
Teacher's response to it: "good use of archetype, could use a little more info on her though. like how she meets angel/why she searches her out."
10. Describe the conflict or motivator within your story in 3-5 sentences My response:
"The conflict in Head Hunters is the supernatural beings trying to protect themselves from the poachers. All the parents want for their kids and family is to grow up without getting killed for superficial reasons, and all the students at Veldime Point want is to grow up like all human kids do. There's a very little conflict between the students and their parents when the kids want to stand up for themselves against this evil; the kids want to prove themselves to the adults as well prove their strengths to themselves."
My teacher's response to it: "this is a solid main conflict but don't forget to build out other conflicts within the story. Think about your A,B, and C stories. Easiest description is TV; A is your main line, B is like a Season Arc, and C is your "monster of the week"/episode."
If I didn't write down an answer then it wasn't worth mentioning. I wanted to share all this information about the book. Would you guys like the answers my teacher was looking for? Well, I write it down just in case.
8. Angel just didn't have powers unless she thought she was in danger.
9. Cassandra met up with Angel because her mother is friends with Angel's dad, and Taralyn (Cassandra's mom) wanted someone to make sure Angel was safe when Keith (Angel's father) hadn't heard from Angel. (This was mentioned in the book.)
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