Family and Friends

My dad always said, "When you have friends you don't have to talk every day even for months, but when you do start talking again it's like no time has passed." I realized over the years he was right of course, but now I'm starting to regret that I don't have the time to talk to some friends. I have some friends who are like family; Twin, Sammy, Ashlynn, Adam, and Brad. There used to be one more, but he was a horrible influence on my life, so I rightfully kicked him out of my life. If he still cries because he misses me then he should have changed into a respectful man. *shrugs* Anyway, I talk to Twin and Sammy often enough. I wish I could talk to Ashlynn and Adam more, but I understand they're busy. Then there's Brad who updates his Facebook status enough, but almost every time he updates it he seems depressed.
Brad recently added a new entry to his blog, and I red most of it, but I DID read the post added before it. He had mentioned something about almost committing suicide around Christmas, and if I'm being honest I'm downright pissed at him. If he was feeling that low why couldn't he just talk to me. I mean he took care of me when I was suicidal years ago, so I thought he knew he could come to me. But when it comes to things like this I get super pissed because I thought I was his sister, and you're supposed to be able to rely on family. I know he's not the type to show his emotions because he's afraid he'll be laughed at or ostracized or whatever, but when I lived near him I was always there for him. So for him to forget that seriously bugs the shit out of me.
 I know how the world and relationships change as people get older. I know this from experience with what happened between me and my birth mother and such. But I don't like that things change so much that friends who used to talk to me when the chips were down can't speak to me ever. I mean why should I like that at all?! I haven't changed much. I mean I've grown and matured, but I haven't like became unapproachable, have I? *looks down at my feet swallowing hard* Things like this kill me. I only write this because Richard has convinced me recently that if other people can express their emotions I should be able to as well.
I know that not everything is all sunshine and rainbows for my siblings' biological family. I believe that's why we all get along so well. We bond through all the craziness, and not only that but we also are friendly and loving toward each other. Even though I'm not biologically related to any of them I find that I have a stronger family bond to all of them whether I've met them in person or not. To be honest, as soon as I met them and got to know them I've always felt a stronger bond with them than most of my biological family. It may be sad, but it's definitely true. Sometimes I just wish they saw me as family the way I see them. Because to me I see them as family, the one I love above all else, so I wish they may see me as the same one day. I would do anything for them. Maybe they don't see me as much because I don't live close enough, but sometimes I wish that wasn't a factor.
The distance between me and everyone has always got me forgotten in the past, so it bugs me much more than it bugs others. One of my greatest fears is that everyone I'm friends with will just forget me and move on. Like I'm not memorable at all.
Sorry. I just needed to get this all out.